AdWords Advertiser needs $700 billion by Friday

[abbottsys]

I'm afraid I've got my AdWords account into a spot of trouble and I need $700 billion to fix it, and I need it by Friday.

Here's what happened..

I placed a ton of AdWords Ads, but I was worried they might rack up click costs without producing conversions. In other words they might "default" on conversions.

This posed a risk, so I offloaded the risk by buying AdWords Default Swaps (ADSs). Well, after a while I realized that these things could be traded in their own right on a totally unregulated exchange. So I started trading them to the point where the ADS market was actually a zillion times bigger than the underlying AdWords market.

But then the ADS market collapsed, so now I need $700 billion to cover my losses. I've retired from the ADSs trading business with a huge bonus, so just send the money to my retirement address in the Canary Islands.

[Wesson Oil]

how creative...

[jimbeetle]

I hear there's a couple of guys down in D.C. who might be able to help you out. $700 billion shouldn't be a problem for them; if more is needed they just make another print run and pass the cost on to their "shareholders."

[Lauren]

hahaha that's great. Make sure to launder the money properly just in case the boys down in DC ever get the balls to prosectute

[Mel66]

ROTFL @ abbottsys

[MarkKennedySEM]

I am going to pause my "campaign" (pun!) until we can get this matter resolved. I hope that my main competitor will do the same.

[abbottsys]

Originally Posted by MarkKennedySEM

I am going to pause my "campaign" (pun!) until we can get this matter resolved. I hope that my main competitor will do the same.

LOL! I appreciate the effort, but pausing your campaign did not seem to help. I got turned down. I'm shocked I didn't get public money to fix my problem. But wait, perhaps if I ask a second time I'll get it. Perhaps my mistake was asking for only $700 billion when what I really need is $10 trillion, give or take a few trillion.